Episode 155
Ep 155: You don't have to do it all alone
There’s a lot of pressure on us as solo business owners to do it all, isn’t there? This week, I dive into the idea of dependence versus support. Often, we think needing help means weakness, especially when it comes to planning and decision-making. But in this week's episode I challenge that notion! Just as we wouldn’t hesitate to hire an accountant or a virtual assistant, why do we feel guilty about seeking support that helps us stay focused and productive?
Transcript
Welcome to Unfrazzle, a podcast for solo business owners with a big vision who are ready for a kinder, more sustainable approach to productivity.
Speaker A:I'm Louise Miller and each week I share bite size insights to help you step away from the hustle, stop faffing and stay focused so you can make your brilliant ideas happen and make a bigger impact in the world.
Speaker A:And before we dive into today's episode, if you enjoy what I'm sharing here on Unfrazzle and you'd like to support the podcast, you can buy me a cuppa by going to buymeacoffee.com louisemiller and making a one off donation.
Speaker A:I'll pop a link to that in the show notes.
Speaker A:Okay, grab yourself a cuppa and let's get started.
Speaker A:I did a LinkedIn live with one of my clients last year and one of the things she said was this.
Speaker A: doing this call at the end of: Speaker A: And it's now: Speaker A: We're halfway through: Speaker A:So when I shared a clip of her saying that on LinkedIn, one of my lovely pals commented that it sounds like my clients become dependent on me and perhaps I should come with a warning.
Speaker A:So she wasn't saying that it was a bad thing to become dependent on me, but it really got me thinking.
Speaker A:We don't worry about becoming dependent on our VAs, bookkeepers, social media managers, podcast editors, or the myriad of other people who help us with the doing in our businesses.
Speaker A:We accept that we need help with those things, either because they're not in our zone of genius, or we know it's not a good use of our time to be doing everything ourselves.
Speaker A:So for those tangible tasks that aren't in our wheelhouse or that we want to outsource, we are happy to accept and pay for help in the long term.
Speaker A:But when it comes to getting help, making decisions about where to invest your precious time, energy and attention, focusing on what's important, creating plans you'll actually follow through with, we don't view that in the same way.
Speaker A:And I say this having had so many conversations with people over the years, what I see time and time again is that people think they should be able to do all of that on their own, and that if they can't, there's something wrong with them.
Speaker A:So think about it for a moment.
Speaker A:If you're not brilliant at editing videos I am willing to bet that you don't see that as meaning something significant about who you are as a human.
Speaker A:You don't think there's something wrong with you because you're not brilliant at editing videos.
Speaker A:So now contrast asking for help with something like that with admitting that you need help to pause and create a plan every month as we do in Make It Happen Club.
Speaker A:Or that you need someone to help you figure out what's important when you're swamped, or keep you motivated and on track when you want to hide on the sofa as I do with my one to one mentoring clients.
Speaker A:It's as if admitting you need help with those things means you have some sort of character flaw.
Speaker A:Or failing that, surely you must be able to figure this out by yourself.
Speaker A:Running a business is hard.
Speaker A:There are no two ways about it.
Speaker A:And it is okay to ask for help with whatever you need.
Speaker A:And if you need that support over the long term, that's okay too.
Speaker A:It doesn't mean you've become dependent or that you're using me as a crutch.
Speaker A:It means that you've seen the importance of investing in and surrounding yourself with the support that you need to do your very best work.
Speaker A:So when you have a normal job, you have a boss holding you to account, you have colleagues to talk things through with who can pick up the slack and help you know what to do next.
Speaker A:You don't have any of that when you start a business, so you really shouldn't feel embarrassed or ashamed about wanting something that will fill that gap.
Speaker A:So some clients work with me for a while, get what they need, and move on.
Speaker A:They've established a new way of doing things with my support, and they're confident that they can keep that momentum going on their own.
Speaker A:And I have others, like the client I mentioned right at the start, who work with me for a while and realize things feel easier when they have me in their corner.
Speaker A:They value the space to think, breathe, and make decisions and plans that they stick to.
Speaker A:They value the cheerleading they get from me and the help finding their direction and their focus and staying on track.
Speaker A:And they're willing to carry on investing in that support.
Speaker A:Now, I know that that level of one to one support is not accessible to everyone and might feel like a luxury.
Speaker A:And that's why I created Make It Happen Club as a space for us to gather and get that clarity and focus together.
Speaker A:But let's not keep shaming ourselves into thinking that we shouldn't need help with this kind of thing.
Speaker A:So working with me one to one for the long term or being a member of make it Happen Club for a year or longer doesn't mean that you've become dependent.
Speaker A:If we're assuming that being dependent is a bad thing, it means that you understand that you don't have to do everything on your own and you're as willing to invest in support that allows you to show up and get things done as you are to invest in the person who does your accounts.
Speaker A:Nobody is embarrassed or ashamed about hiring an accountant.
Speaker A:Please don't be embarrassed or ashamed if you need someone to hold space for you to be at your most productive.
Speaker A:So if you know that you need my help, please do just reach out and ask.
Speaker A:I'm here and I'm happy to explore what that might look like for you.
Speaker A:And as always, I hope that this helps and I look forward to seeing you again soon.
Speaker A:Thank you for listening to Unfrazzle.
Speaker A:If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share it with a friend who needs a dose of calm productivity in their life.
Speaker A:And I'd love it if you could leave me a rating or a review as that will help more people discover the podcast.
Speaker A:And if you're struggling with productivity right now, take my free assessment to find out what's really getting in the way of you getting things done.
Speaker A:It takes less than three minutes to complete and I'll send you tailored resources and insights that will help based on your score.
Speaker A:You'll find that@louisemiller.uk quiz and there's a link for that in the show notes.
Speaker A:So thank you so much for being here and I look forward to seeing you next time.
